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„Wellhung: Hello, Sweetie. What do you look like?

Sweetie: I am wearing a red silk blouse and a miniskirt and
             high heels. My measurements are 36-24-36. I work out
             every day. I’m toned and perfect. What do you look

Wellhung: I’m 6’3″ and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have
           on a pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I
           am also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue
           sauce on it from dinner – it smells a little funny.

Sweetie: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK.

Sweetie: We’re in my bedroom. There’s soft music playing on the
             stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I’m
             looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its
             down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge,
             swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I’m gulping. I’m beginning to sweat.

Sweetie: I’m pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I’m unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetie: I’m moaning softly.

Wellhung: I’m taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off

Sweetie: I’m throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk
             slides off my warm skin. I’m rubbing your bulge
             faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and I accidently rip
           a hole in your blouse. I’m sorry.

Sweetie: That’s OK, it wasn’t really too expensive.

Wellhung: I’ll pay for it.

Sweetie: Don’t worry about it. I’m wearing a lacy black bra. My
             soft breasts are rising and falling, rising and
             falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I’m fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it’s
           stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetie: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I’m reaching back
             and undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The
             air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I’m picking up the bra and
           inspecting the clasp.

Sweetie: I’m arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your
             tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I’m dropping the bra. Now I’m licking your, you know,
           breasts. They’re neat!

Sweetie: I’m running my fingers through your hair. Now I’m
             nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit.

Sweetie: What?

Wellhung: I’m so sorry. Really.

Sweetie: I’m wiping your spit off my breasts with the remains
             of my blouse.

Wellhung: I’m taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it
           with a plop.

Sweetie: OK. I’m pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your
             hard tool.

Wellhung: I’m screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetie: I’m pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I’m pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all
           over, in and out, nibbling on your … umm … wait a

Sweetie: What’s the matter?

Wellhung: I’ve got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I’m choking.

Sweetie: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I’m having a coughing fit. I’m turning all red.

Sweetie: Can I help?

Wellhung: I’m running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I’m fumbling
           through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you
           keep your cups?

Sweetie: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I’m drinking a cup of water. There, that’s better.

Sweetie: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I’m washing the cup now.

Sweetie: I’m on the bed, aching for you.

Wellhung: I’m drying the cup. Now I’m putting it back in the
           cabinet. And now I’m walking back to the bedroom. Wait,
           it’s dark. I’m lost. Where’s the bedroom.

Sweetie: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetie: I’m tugging off your pants. I’m moaning. I want you so

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetie: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately – our
             naked bodies pressing against each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetie: Why don’t you take off you glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can’t see very well without them. I place the
           glasses on the night table.

Sweetie: I’m bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I’m fumbling my way blindly across the
           room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetie: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom. It’s dark. I’m feeling around for
           the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetie: I’m waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I’m done going. I’m feeling around for the flush handle,
           but I can’t find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetie: What’s the matter now?

Wellhung: I’ve realized that I’ve peed into your laundry hamper.
           Sorry again. I’m walking back to the bedroom now,
           blindly feeling my way.

Sweetie: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I’m going to put my … you know … thing …
           in your … you know … woman’s thing.

Sweetie: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I’m touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss
           your neck. Umm, I’m having a little trouble here.

Sweetie: I’m moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can’t
             stand it another second! Slide it in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I’m flaccid.

Sweetie: What?

Wellhung: I’m limp. I can’t sustain an erection.

Sweetie: I’m standing up and turning around, an incredulous
             look on my face.

Wellhung: I’m shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all
           floppy. I’m going to get my glasses and see what’s

Sweetie: No, never mind. I’m getting dressed. I’m putting on my
             underwear. Now I’m putting on my wet, nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I’m squinting, trying to find the night
           table. I’m feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans
           of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetie: I’m buttoning my blouse. Now I’m putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I’ve found my glasses. I’m putting them on. My God! One
           of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on
           fire! I’m pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetie: Go to hell. I’m logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!”

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